… catch my drift?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8852928/site/newsweek/page/1/
When infants near their first birthdays, they become increasingly sophisticated social learners. They begin to infer what others are thinking by following the gaze of those around them. “By understanding others’ gaze, babies come to understand others’ minds,” says Andrew Meltzoff, a professor of psychology at the University of Washington who has studied the “gaze following” of thousands of babies. “You can tell a lot about people, what they’re interested in and what they intend to do next, by watching their eyes. It appears that even babies know that… This is how they learn to become expert members of our culture.”
Meltzoff and colleague Rechele Brooks have found that this skill first appears at 10 to 11 months, and is not only an important marker of a baby’s emotional and social growth, but can predict later language development. In their study, babies who weren’t proficient at gaze-following by their first birthday had much less advanced-language skills at 2. Meltzoff says this helps explain why language occurs more slowly in blind children, as well as children of depressed mothers, who tend not to interact as much with their babies.
I’ve discovered over time that the adults who seem to interact the easiest with me have this trait. I have the tendency (especially during a lull) to look around me and make comments about people or things in view – some people react immediately with “What the hell are you talking about?” (an incredible turn-off), some look confused and say, “huh?”, and some look around for a second, and engage in my game.
I’m an impish little kid who always finds something amusing, ironic, annoying, or peculiar. People who don’t use their eyes and ears to participate in the world with me (expressing frustration instead) are in a sense rejecting my game, and a minor chance to bond.
I don’t think about this behavior of mine, I just do it. Sometimes, people react with anger, like I am trying to “test” them, but I’m sharing. I want them to be on the “inside”.
The most annoying thing is, like my strictly reduced vocabulary in my pre-teen years, I’m learning by example how to be less observant and more irritated with other people who don’t explain every pronoun or glance. That needs to stop.
I have a good track record as to being abke to tell what people are talking about from across the room ( vindication back when i would just walk and ask them) I am also good at guessing relationships just by body laungue though i always thought i was just weird…
I’ve discovered over time that the adults who seem to interact the easiest with me have this trait. I have the tendency (especially during a lull) to look around me and make comments about people or things in view – some people react immediately with “What the hell are you talking about?” (an incredible turn-off), some look confused and say, “huh?”, and some look around for a second, and engage in my game.
I’m an impish little kid who always finds something amusing, ironic, annoying, or peculiar. People who don’t use their eyes and ears to participate in the world with me (expressing frustration instead) are in a sense rejecting my game, and a minor chance to bond.
it’s one thing to do this when you’re sitting in the *same place* as the person you’re speaking with… and a whole ‘nother ball of wax when you’re doing it online, especially when the person you’re attempting to do this with (like me, this afternoon) is doing 234234 things at work. there’s no context, no clues, no eye contact, no nothing to go on.
Or when someone is staring at one space- totally unfocused on anything and is talking about something they had though of three days ago. Or text messaging. Or spending so much time looking around at the little things that they didn’t notice the giant ass yellow bus about to hit them.
Jerk. Thanks, dear.
What I -should- have said was, “I’m trying to contain the situation, and you’re driving the monkey to the airport!”
A), this isn’t a “do this” action. I don’t go around trying to be sneaky, I just notice things and often don’t give enough information, and when someone gives me hell without even looking around, I’m disappointed.
B) I’m extremely sorry that this specific topic came up after our AIM conversation, because it honestly never occured to me to categorize it this way. Well after we spoke, I read the above article, and that’s what spurred my post.
re: B – i have an acquaintence that uses her LJ as a place to bitch about people on her friends list, w/o addressing them directly, so i shifted into that mode when i saw your post. cuz, you know, everything on LJ is about me, right?
IT’S ALL ABOUT MEEEEEE!!
wah wah wah!
(:
:) Well yeah. :)
I do that a lot, too. In fact, it accounts for at least 50% of Bill and I’s conversations.