Fucking Amazing.
USDA “The Food Pyramid” (thanks disarray)
it’s not what happens to the food before it gets to your table, but simply that you eat substantial servings of all foods — Following these guidelines will help ensure the health of American families while guaranteeing the health of Agribusiness Corporations around the world.
Site Help
We appreciate your patience while we complete myPyramid.org.
If you are having technical difficulties, it’s probably because you
do not have new and/or expensive enough equipment. If that’s the case, then you are probably not in our target demographic* and lack the financial means to have a significant impact on the Agribusiness economy anyways. Each day the Agribusiness industry produces 1500 calories per American in excess of what you are consuming. So while we have some work to do on this site, what have you done today to help the Agribusiness industry with its excess product?
Only 31% of Americans are obese, so clearly there’s more to be done by 69% of Americans. In today’s blame-others-first culture it would be easy to say, well, I can’t eat more today because the sections of the USDA’s website telling me how to eat more aren’t finished. But you can! You can eat more today and help maintain the healthy Agribusiness economy that has grown through decades of collaboration with the USDA.
*Due to limited resources (resulting from the Global War On Terror (GWOT)), USDA must narrow its focus to those demographics with the means to have the biggest impact on the Agribusiness economy. Those citizens who can’t afford computers are already making food choices that benefit USDA’s current and former colleagues in the agribusiness and food processing industries. It is precisely those who have the educational and financial means to be more selective about their food choices, choosing plant-based, organic, locally produced whole foods who need the reassurance that animal-based, processed, chemically laden, international food products are in fact a healthy part of a nutritious American diet — And an integral part of the economy that enabled them to buy that new computer in the first place.
(obviously, this is a parody site)
I’m not kidding when I say this. That site was actually recommended to me by the nutrionist in our WIC at ICHD.
Ok ok really it was the mypyramid.gov.
Agriculture, not Agribusiness
people often get .org or .com sites when .gov is the actual sites, but I haven’t often seen it used for such direct political parody.
Have you looked at the real site? It’s so amazingly close. I’m impressed.
Yes, it’s an excellent, excellent parody job. Very amusing, too, once you look at it that way.
lol which i wasn’t to begin with considering who the source was. Wonder how many folks he’s giving it to.
lol which i wasn’t considering who the source was. Wonder how many other folks he’s sent to it.