A comment about weight
I had a friend ask me, some time ago, why I thought it was that a larger part of my friends are ‘overweight’, and I boggled at the idea, because I never noticed such a thing. I’ve come to realize that that’s the point – I never noticed it, and frankly, the majority of the population in michigan are overweight. Statistically speaking, if it is true that I have more overweight friends (locally, that is) than not, it makes sense.
The girls I’ve dated have been thin, curvy, and heavily overweight, and it seems to me that that’s the way it should be – there are some fucking amazing people out there, and not all of them can shop in Forever 21, or whatever. And why in the world would I want to date someone who didn’t feel the same way?
friend: ya know, there was a time, very very long ago, when being plump was in because it was a sign of wealth and good health. glad you’re handling better than i am… when its something i can fix, i’m okay. but i don’t have any control over this and its *very* upsetting.
atdtxav: *smile* I have very supportive people in my life, dear. People who wouldn’t have any of it if I spent too much time obsessing over my weight. And, to put it another way… when I was a teenager, I coped with a lot of things about me that limit the pot of those attracted to me, even when I was thin. Being weird, for one thing, is something I’ve always been; believe me, most normal people can’t cope with it.
atdtxav: I started thinking of it this way: I have my own mental/emotional standards, and I don’t want to date someone who has trouble with my weight.
atdtxav: So it’s a self-excluding population. *small smile*
atdtxav: Those who see beyond it are more perceptive and generally more beautiful people, anyway. Saves me the effort of trying out someone who, frankly, sucks.
atdtxav: If someone I was dating said some of the things I’ve heard moms say to their daughters, they’d be shown the fucking door. *shakes head* People are amazingly callous.
atdtxav: I’m watching Peter Gabriel on DVD right now. He’s one of the most well-respected rock musicians in the world, ridiculously popular, and look at that belly – it’s much like mine.
atdtxav: Then again, maybe it’s ’cause he’s british. hehe.
None of that is to say that I am not interested in being a healthier person. The other night, I made a delicious foreman’d Tilapia, with a few slices of garlic toast and corn. I’ve restocked my fridge so that I’m back to making food for work instead of going out, I buy 7-grain bread, and I never buy pop for drinking at home. These are good changes, and with an increase in my physical activity, my weight may turn around. I am generally an active person, someone who loves to swim, hike, bike, or whatever experience comes my way. However – that’s my choice to make, and the sort of stereotyping that goes on in the mind of someone who can’t bring themselves to be attracted to me because of my weight is something I want to stay far away from, anyway.
So, call it a blessing in disguise – it saves me from having to figure out who is that breed of asshole.
So, call it a blessing in disguise – it saves me from having to figure out who is that breed of asshole.
Preach on, brother!
So, call it a blessing in disguise – it saves me from having to figure out who is that breed of asshole.
Preach on, brother!
But you *are* normal.
::ducks and hides::
I love Peter Gabriel. A friend made me a mix CD years ago that contains “In your eyes” with dialogue from “Say Anything” – I love it!!
But you *are* normal.
::ducks and hides::
I love Peter Gabriel. A friend made me a mix CD years ago that contains “In your eyes” with dialogue from “Say Anything” – I love it!!
Both my parents are big, and likewise I’ve spent all my life being a chub-whump. Maybe I’m just used to it, or realized a long time ago that it wasn’t worth obsessing over something that would be near impossible to change, but I just don’t really make much time to worry about my weight.
I think it’s a dumb idea to obsess over weight in the first place. The more people worry about it, the more they seem to want to eat, and the more boring they become to other people because their diet is all they can talk about.
And if the friend’s you keep are the kinds of people you relate to- maybe because they’re overweight, or maybe just because they don’t care if you are, or maybe they’re all the kinds of people who have better things to worry about if they can squeeze into a size 2 this year- who cares so long as you’re happy to spent time with them?
Both my parents are big, and likewise I’ve spent all my life being a chub-whump. Maybe I’m just used to it, or realized a long time ago that it wasn’t worth obsessing over something that would be near impossible to change, but I just don’t really make much time to worry about my weight.
I think it’s a dumb idea to obsess over weight in the first place. The more people worry about it, the more they seem to want to eat, and the more boring they become to other people because their diet is all they can talk about.
And if the friend’s you keep are the kinds of people you relate to- maybe because they’re overweight, or maybe just because they don’t care if you are, or maybe they’re all the kinds of people who have better things to worry about if they can squeeze into a size 2 this year- who cares so long as you’re happy to spent time with them?
A while ago, I read an interview with Mario Batali, a very popular Italian chef on the Food Network. He was asked “Do you trust a chef who is thin?” I found this to be a rather entertaining question, and I think about it myself–if someone is really thin, can you trust that they really enjoy food eating enough to make it well? My own answer is the realization that it doesn’t always come down to taste and passion for food, there are so many factors. I know that Autumn loves and understands food, but she struggles to put weight on. On the other hand, I’ve learned to appreciate the use of butter in making french pastries…
I love Mario. He’s so much fun, and I love how he explains things. He’s so wonderful at explaining why flavors go togther.
I am perhaps the exception – though if you keep me cooking like this, the weight thing may be moot soon.
I love Mario. He’s so much fun, and I love how he explains things. He’s so wonderful at explaining why flavors go togther.
I am perhaps the exception – though if you keep me cooking like this, the weight thing may be moot soon.
A while ago, I read an interview with Mario Batali, a very popular Italian chef on the Food Network. He was asked “Do you trust a chef who is thin?” I found this to be a rather entertaining question, and I think about it myself–if someone is really thin, can you trust that they really enjoy food eating enough to make it well? My own answer is the realization that it doesn’t always come down to taste and passion for food, there are so many factors. I know that Autumn loves and understands food, but she struggles to put weight on. On the other hand, I’ve learned to appreciate the use of butter in making french pastries…
I’d like to say, first off, that I hrt Forever 21. I got my favorite pants there.
That aside, what the hell? I have dated guys all sizes and shapes, and last I checked it was what was happening in thier heads and hearts that matter. I have friends of all sizes, always have – never thought a damn thing about it unless someone said something to me. And then usually, I shrugged my shoulders.
Being chronically thin, I’ve heard all sorts of shit from the opposite end of the spectrum. It’s stupid. I like food and wine and life. So you do too? That’s good.
Uhm, why do respond as if I were attacking you? I didn’t say anything about whether or not I saw thin people as worth dating or any less ‘cool’ than larger people – in fact, I mentioned that the weight of my friends breaks down about the same as the actual proportions in my area.
I simply said that the people who are too body-conscious to be attracted to me (for that reason, specifically) remove themselves from my dating pool, thus saving me the trouble of discovery. I think it’s a better frame of mind than the alternative.
read it again, like I’m agreeing with you. Not the other way around.
I was basically, saying, “yeah, I agree” but iwht more words.
That and I wanted to talk about clothes.
*grin* Don’t you find that they’re really cheaply made, though?
Most of thier stuff? yeah. I have a 3/4 length t from them… and it’s got a hole in it now. but I bought it on clearance – so whatever.
My white pants? They haven’t given me any problems yet, but I don’t wear them ALL the time – since they’re white – but when I do I always get compliments on them.
Most of thier stuff? yeah. I have a 3/4 length t from them… and it’s got a hole in it now. but I bought it on clearance – so whatever.
My white pants? They haven’t given me any problems yet, but I don’t wear them ALL the time – since they’re white – but when I do I always get compliments on them.
*grin* Don’t you find that they’re really cheaply made, though?
read it again, like I’m agreeing with you. Not the other way around.
I was basically, saying, “yeah, I agree” but iwht more words.
That and I wanted to talk about clothes.
Uhm, why do respond as if I were attacking you? I didn’t say anything about whether or not I saw thin people as worth dating or any less ‘cool’ than larger people – in fact, I mentioned that the weight of my friends breaks down about the same as the actual proportions in my area.
I simply said that the people who are too body-conscious to be attracted to me (for that reason, specifically) remove themselves from my dating pool, thus saving me the trouble of discovery. I think it’s a better frame of mind than the alternative.
I’d like to say, first off, that I hrt Forever 21. I got my favorite pants there.
That aside, what the hell? I have dated guys all sizes and shapes, and last I checked it was what was happening in thier heads and hearts that matter. I have friends of all sizes, always have – never thought a damn thing about it unless someone said something to me. And then usually, I shrugged my shoulders.
Being chronically thin, I’ve heard all sorts of shit from the opposite end of the spectrum. It’s stupid. I like food and wine and life. So you do too? That’s good.
I completely agree, and I’m so glad that there are men like you out there in the world. *smile*
My current diet thing is something that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time and it is a body image thing….but it’s not. I’m not sure what it is prompted by – probably pictures of my ass in bondage last November. Yikes! Those pictures frighten me. At the same time, though, I feel better about myself and the person I am than I ever have before. Inside and outside. Maybe, like relationships, you have to love yourself unconditionally before you can change yourself? *shrugs*
Maybe I just don’t want to be a chubby little clydesdale pony when I pull the cart out this year. =)
I completely agree, and I’m so glad that there are men like you out there in the world. *smile*
My current diet thing is something that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time and it is a body image thing….but it’s not. I’m not sure what it is prompted by – probably pictures of my ass in bondage last November. Yikes! Those pictures frighten me. At the same time, though, I feel better about myself and the person I am than I ever have before. Inside and outside. Maybe, like relationships, you have to love yourself unconditionally before you can change yourself? *shrugs*
Maybe I just don’t want to be a chubby little clydesdale pony when I pull the cart out this year. =)
Just when I think I can’t love you more.
You go and prove me wrong. I think you’ve hit this one dead on.
Just when I think I can’t love you more.
You go and prove me wrong. I think you’ve hit this one dead on.
i agree that anyone who eliminates someone as a potential date simply because of weight is totally losing out. i’ve been on many ends of this myself – i was rejected because of my weight, yet pursued by someone else simply because i was fat, not because of *me*. and then when my weight started coming off, folks that i was practically invisible to suddenly were dying to get into my pants, including the more than one that rejected me when i was heavier. it’s so screwy. i know skinny people who act superior, too, because they’re skinny, nevermind the fact that they’re horribly unhealthy and doing awful things to their bodies. *boggles*
kudos on striving to eat and live healthier, regardless of the number on the scale. i’m working on it myself. now that the weather is decent, i’m all about walking to work, if i can motivate myself to actually do it in the mornings!
Thanks! I would totally love to be able to walk to work.
you could, but it would take a reeeeeally long time. ;)
you could, but it would take a reeeeeally long time. ;)
Thanks! I would totally love to be able to walk to work.
i agree that anyone who eliminates someone as a potential date simply because of weight is totally losing out. i’ve been on many ends of this myself – i was rejected because of my weight, yet pursued by someone else simply because i was fat, not because of *me*. and then when my weight started coming off, folks that i was practically invisible to suddenly were dying to get into my pants, including the more than one that rejected me when i was heavier. it’s so screwy. i know skinny people who act superior, too, because they’re skinny, nevermind the fact that they’re horribly unhealthy and doing awful things to their bodies. *boggles*
kudos on striving to eat and live healthier, regardless of the number on the scale. i’m working on it myself. now that the weather is decent, i’m all about walking to work, if i can motivate myself to actually do it in the mornings!