i cry until I laugh

Whenever this song comes on, I kind of stop to listen to it. It reminds me of so many things, parts of my life I’ve (thankfully) set aside long ago. Not so far that I can’t look back, of course, or what would be the point?

Anyway, it seems a number of my friends might relate these days. I’ve probably posted the lyrics three or four times. *smirk* If you IM me at night, I’ll be happy to send it to you… or you can wait until I finally finish that super-excellent-amazing audio CD. *grin* IT’S IN THE WORKS, PEOPLE!

i’m scared of swimming in the sea
dark shapes moving under me
every fear i swallow makes me small
inconsequential things occur
alarms are triggered
memories stir

it’s not the way it has to be

i’m afraid of what i do not know
i hate being undermined
i’m afraid i can be devil man
and i’m scared to be divine
don’t mess with me, my fuse is short
beneath this skin these fragments caught

when i allow it to be
there’s no control over me
i have my fears
but they do not have me

walking through the undergrowth, to the house in the woods
the deeper I go, the darker it gets
i peer through the window
knock at the door
and the monster i was
so afraid of
lies curled up on the floor
it’s curled up on the floor just like a baby boy

i cry until i laugh

i’m afraid of being mothered
with my balls shut in the pen
i’m afraid of loving women
and i’m scared of loving men
flashbacks coming every night
don’t tell me everything’s alright

when I allow it to be
it has no control over me
i own my fear
so it doesn’t own me

walking through the undergrowth, to the house in the woods
the deeper i go, the darker it gets
i peer through the window
knock at the door
and the monster i was
so afraid of
lies curled up on the floor
it’s curled up on the floor just like a baby boy

i cry until i laugh

~ by Skennedy on June 16, 2006.

6 Responses to “i cry until I laugh”

  1. Hee, Peter Gabriel. The blast of feedback that opens that song (and the album it’s on) is AWESOME.

    • *laugh* Indeed. My friends and have a ridiculously cool PG collection.

      • Heh. I just needed the first two lines and my brain was humming along…

        That album in particular… just, wow. Peter outdid himself with that one. It was my understanding that he took so much time off between albums so that the technology would catch up and allow him to actually create what he heard in his head.

        Off that album I am absurdly fond of “My Head Sounds Like That”.

      • *kiss*
        Always glad to do the music thingy with you, sweetness

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