Yarr, matey, let’s hug!
Over the past few years, there have been a few people who have told me that they don’t call when they’re feeling down or lonely because they see I’m a busy person and don’t want to intrude.
These happen to be some of the people who have known me the longest – more than a decade. We’re talking the goatee days, folks.
I’m never so busy as to be unhappy with a phone call from one of my friends. I do like keeping active, but you aren’t going to see me complain about how busy I am, not seriously, and I’ll never feel bothered or put out by someone touching base with me, no matter how long it’s been.
I’ve welcomed you into my life. On purpose. You’re allowed to be the reason I’m busy. If I’ve already got plans, we’ll work around them, and if you really need someone, I’ll break plans. My other friends will understand.
I don’t want to lay pressure on people to call me when they just want to deal with their own problems, but if you’re lonely and need a friendly voice, please:
Don’t hesitate.
SCOTT, I NEED A HUG, ARE YOU BUSY? :(
Just a second.
You tease.
So I’m told.
I mean NO! I’m not, let’s hug!
i can has hugz time nao plz?
Yesh!
even all the way over in wisconsin?
Yes :) Even allll the way over there.
*waves from across the pond*
(the little one, not the big one.)
Under Pressure
Dun dun dun da da daa dun
not
Dun dun dun da da daa dun tss!
You know I love you!
How come you never call me when you want to cry?!
*grin* I rebound quickly.
Also, I find it hard to accept that I have any right to be unhappy, considering my life is pretty good, all things considered.
Everyone has a right to be unhappy.
You say that now!
I nearly retch at that song “It’s not easy, to be … meeeeeee…” Heh.
Uhm, actually, it kinda is.
uh…*aren’t* you busy?
i still live practically next door to where you work, and have been under the impression for some time that you just had no inclination to come visit. being pointedly Not! A! Priority! is lame. happily, i don’t think about it much. but now i am, since you mentioned it. :/
I’m sorry, Ann. What I said was that I’m never so busy that I’m not willing to make time. That doesn’t mean that I don’t find my time endlessly occupied, it means I’m always willing to shove things around to see someone. When they ask. I have, at my count, four major projects I’m working on outside of the office.
There are some people in my life that I do not see often, and we remain close anyway. Chuck, for instance – he does not call me just to hang out, but I don’t think he values me any less as a person. We’re family.
I’ve always thought the same of you. You, more than anyone I know, find yourself adventuring in strange cities and otherwise roaming where the winds take you. You’re never on IM that I can see, and don’t LJ almost ever, and those are my main conversation mediums.
The last few times you’ve contacted me, it’s been about getting a ride somewhere. And hey, that’s definitely okay, and I try to be totally straight with you about when that is and is not convenient, but that isn’t exactly the same as “I’d really love to see you, let’s make plans to hang out.”
Regardless of what you think of me, or the level of priority you think I have for you, I do consider you part of my family, and when you or I disappear for awhile, I feel we connect fairly well again later. I’ve always spoken highly and warmly of you to others – in fact, at least twice in the last few weeks I’ve brought you up, in glowing terms. Ask Dave.
In the entire time we’ve known each other, we’ve never hung out on a frequent basis, and I presumed that was either your choice or a matter of transportation.
I don’t react well to emotional manipulation. I mean, you didn’t even say you miss me in this note. I don’t want you to be unhappy, or feel like I’m uninterested in seeing you; I hardly think it’s appropriate to blame me for having nothing on my mind when I leave this building but getting home, away from this building and this city.
If my writing a post to say “You’re allowed to be the reason I’m busy” makes you feel excluded instead of included, then you are exactly the person I wrote this post for.
sorry you take it that way, not trying to be emotionally manipulative. or even trying to “blame” you for wanting to go home when you’re done with your job. missing you seemed – and seems – kind of inappropriate. as if it would mean wanting you not to pursue the life you most want to live, or something. but if you do indeed want to hang out, then when might you be availble?
I don’t think that gives yourself any right to feel anything in relation to someone else, if you look at it that way. I don’t agree that missing someone’s company is the same as wanting them to do something other than what they want to do, unless that has been specifically stated.
Before that point, it’s a presumption that since someone isn’t -already- doing something, they clearly don’t want to do it. Which, in my mind, is the same as presuming that every individual is an entirely rational being with full knowledge of all potential circumstances and their ramifications.
And as far as I can tell, people are generally (and I say this with all the sympathy of being a person) idiots who’re as likely to chew on razor blades as granola bars, and can’t be trusted to remember anything that isn’t in front of their faces.
Friday after work works for me. :)
okay. :) what time do you get off work on friday? i’ll be at work in dearborn from 4-9pm, can do before (lunch, probably) or after (late, of course)?
I can do lunch at 11:30 or so – usually things don’t get too crazy here until after 1p on Friday.
very good, sir. see you then. :) call when you’re ready on that day?
Okayzeez!