Pet names
A friend of mine was talking pet names (someone tried to use the same one he uses on his pets), and I thought I’d make a poll. Now, I know there are particulars of when, where, and who here, but just give the poll the benefit of the doubt, I didn’t want to complicate it by splitting it up into public and private names, etc.
I love when seasoned waitresses call me “honey” or the equivalent. For some reason, it just adds to the atmosphere, and makes me feel (right or wrong) like they’ve been doing it long enough to earn calling customers that.
I can’t think of any time in that particular kind of situation where I’ve gotten “honey” in a condescending tone.
personally it’s “hun” that bugs me, especially when it’s from an equal or a friend… dunno, for some reason it just feels strange from anyone but an S.O.
That’s fascinating, to me. Do you feel like it’s condescending, or unnecessarily intimate, or what?
Dunno… oddly, “dear” I can live with, maybe “hun” in some cases from customer service-type people (there’s one at the grocery store that says that sometimes when I buy some food :P). But from an equal, yeah, I guess it feels a little condescending… like I’m used to hearing it from parents or guardians towards children, or between couples. I know it’s intended to be endearing, but it just feels odd to me :)
Personally, I think that “hun” (Germanic tribes, what?) and “honey” were over-used pet names 50 years ago. I avoid using it, pretty much always, and consider it a challenge to come up with a more creative pet name that’s still completely appropriate.
To clarify, there is a BIG difference when a waitress calls me honey and when a man that I don’t know calls me sweetheart.
Yeah, I wasn’t sure how to quantify that in the poll, so I just hoped people would get that I didn’t mean to include jerkoffs.
However, some people feel that -everyone- who uses a pet name for you when they don’t know you well enough for the privilege are being rude in some way, so I just let it be.
My S.O. and I call each other “babytimes.” Don’t ask me how we came up with that. Plus, I come up with a new pet name nearly daily – Pickle Chips, Lil’ Sprinkles… dumb situational stuff like that, depending on where we are.
That’s awesome :) I do believe that’s how “snugglebutt” came about.
That’s adorable.
Based on your churlish online persona, I choose to interpret that as total sarcasm and that you are horrified that we would call each other something so stupid :)
Well, you’re half right. It is truly adorable, so it wasn’t entirely sarcastic. But I can’t help being slightly horrified, as well. It’s my nature.
Yeah, you’d probably be horrified to see just the two of us hanging out. We’re pretty close, and it gets pretty cute.
To be fair and honest, it would probably be equal parts horror and envy.
I notice a distinct lack of “dear” on your list of common pet names. It is a word I employ frequently, in a number of situations, primarily sarcastic.
Ooh, how did I miss “dear” and “dearest”?
I think at one point or another, I have called anyone on I have known for more than 2 years by one of those above listed names.
I sometimes feel that I sound way to formal when using someone’s name and I find it a way to convey my genuine affection for people in my life.
I think that’s true (that it helps to convey an informality that can otherwise be hard to express).
On the other hand, I find that sometimes I push myself to say someone’s name, because I can get into a habit where I don’t use anyone’s name, and I think that can make someone feel like you don’t even see who they are.
I used to date someone (hi dear!) who used to call me “you” all the time (as in, “hey, you!”), and eventually it kind of made me feel like I could be anyone.
I’m fond of ncpants/ncpantsy/ncpantsonfire as names for me, but they’re nicknames, not pet names. I see the two as being somewhat different.
Mmm, I suppose that’s true, though I think it’s acceptible to call something a ‘pet name’ when someone uses it ’cause they’re especially fond of you, and doesn’t have to be romantic or about being an S.O. “Skennedy” is a nickname that everyone uses, for instance, but (speaking for me) when I call you ncpants, it’s got an implied fondness.
I’m trying to think of clearer non-S.O. examples. Aha! I call Colleen “shortstuff” – it’s not something I’d use to refer to her among other people (“I was hanging out with shortstuff the other day”), so it’s just a term of endearment as friends. I don’t think I’d say to someone “I was talking to ncpants the other day” (at least, not very often), but I’d totally say, “hiya ncpants :)”.
Does my interpretation make sense, even if you use them differently? :)
Yep, that makes complete sense. And you’re right, I guess it is a pet name that way. But…no matter how thoroughly it’s stated that pet names aren’t restricted to SO’s I still consider it that way. Several people have called me “sweetie”, for example, and I know there’s fondness involved, but for whatever reason it’s not a pet name to me unless its an SO using it. Something about the word “pet”, maybe? My brain, it is teh weird.
Interestingly, I think very few people call me “sken”, and though it definitely blurs the line into both, I kind of consider it a pet name.
There are times when I forget what your real name is. :) Well, not completely forget, but I just don’t think of it first.
My ex husband called me poopstain. Yeah. You read that right. That was his sweet name for me. No matter how many times I told him I didn’t like it and actually how I found it so derogatory he still wouldn’t stop. So this pet name probably contributed to him becoming an ex.
A “name that I sometimes call my fiancee” is very different from a pet name. I’ll often say, “Hey baby” or kitten, or hon, or whatever, but I only really have one pet name for her. I use common-names (hon, etc.) much more frequently than the pet name.
“love” is always acceptable from little old british ladies (one of our clients).
for the most part, i also don’t mind “honey” from waitresses.
NORMALLY, AND FOR MANY YEARS, I absolutely HATED being called anything but my given name. Now, I don’t even tell people my given name (except at my job) and I almost never go by it. So I used to HATE goofy nicknames OR pet names, and I finally got over the nickname thing… and I’ve recently gotten over mushy pet names (because Andy couldn’t live without them).
I checked “hon” (I never say honey) and I also say “dear” a LOT. Often to my co-workers… we’re a very friendly lot.
I also tend to call people Miss, Mistah and Ms, which I picked up a few years ago from my friend Merlin who always, without fail, called me Miss (Given Name). It spread to my friends at the time, including Miss Dina who was always Miss Dina or MissD to me.
If I’m asking a favor, I’ll sometimes call a woman Lady [firstname]. I’ve noticed other people at work starting to do this now, too. I’m always doing this in a respectful manner, though it is clearly fondness as well. I frequently call the head of the shipping department Mistah The Pete but he’s a pretty casual guy.
As for relationship-type pet names… Mink is such an easy name to make into things. My given name only ever gets shortened, but Mink is so small of a word that people insist on making it bigger. I like that.
Anyway, Andy calls me all sorts of silly things… lately it’s been honeykins or kiddo (which we both dislike but he can’t seem to break the habit). But he usually calls me Minkins if he’s calling for me.
I’ve had only… three different pet names, per say.
Wuzzle (Yeah, I guess I did hate that one)
Kitty (I liked that one)
Bunny (I liked that one too, it sounds cuddly which is something that many wouldn’t consider me).
Plus, I always have bunnies follow me around. Really, it’s pretty weird. Trase has noticed it.