I saw a post recently that made me think about aggressive vs passive conversationalists. You can call them extroverts and introverts, but that’s incredibly simplistic – some people just don’t like to start talking, and other people are difficult to stop.
I was saying that in a situation where you care about the person you’re talking with, I think you have a bit of a social responsibility to try to meet them in the middle. I, for instance, have no difficulty opening my mouth. If I’m not allowing the other person any say in where the conversation is heading, I might as well have e-mailed them, ’cause it’s a monologue.
Further, if there’s a topic someone enjoys talking about or they find important to them, I think I have some amount of responsibility to try to find a way to relate. Not too tough for someone who associates everything with everything else somehow, but partly it’s because I try not to be lazy in the way I talk to people.
That brings up a pet peeve of mine – One thing that really frustrates me is when I’ve gone off into the clouds on some obscure tangent, not even sure where I’m headed, and someone stops me with “huh?” Clearly, for the sake of mankind and your sanity, I needed to be stopped – I’m not going to lie. But what in pete’s name does huh mean? Did you not hear me because I mumbled, did I use too many pronouns, did I misuse a word or use a concept you don’t get, am I speaking total gibberish (likely), or do you mean, “I’m incredulous!”? It’s times like these where I feel like someone isn’t putting any effort into talking.
What about you? Let’s have an LJ-Poll! Please don’t get too hung up on the wording of the first question, it’s just to get a general idea.
Oooh, people who have to “win” conversations…that’s a big pet peeve of mine. I had a roommate like that: if I had a bad day or a bad grade, she had a worse one. If I found a good deal on something, she found a better one. Drove me bonkers.
It’s really bad when you’re excited about sharing something that happened to you, and the other person has to say “oh, you’re in a band now? I got signed last week, it was awesome.”
Exactly! Got to the point where I simply dreaded trying to make normal conversation. That semester did not go well.