An interview with Matthieu Ricard, the “happiest man on earth”
I enjoy listening to him talk about why people should show compassion for people who you do not like or who are obnoxious or even those who are causing suffering for others. People are greedy and selfish due to their own suffering, and that seems to be true when you get down to the psychology of asshole-ishness. Moreso, it is a purely self-interested act to only care about the happiness of those who do something for you.
That said, of course you have to take into account your own suffering – having compassion for someone doesn’t mean you have to like them, and it doesn’t mean you have to enable them creating suffering in yourself or others. I think that’s the tough thing that many people get mixed up – thinking that caring for the happiness of others means letting them walk over you or other people.
It’s a great thing to consider – the idea of justice as revenge is so deeply ingrained in our society and our fiction, it is nearly impossible to even express it without someone feeling outrage because of something terrible done to them, and the perceived “wrongness” of feeling anything but a desire for retribution for them.